My Journey With Breast Cancer
On my 48th birthday, January 18, 2020, I woke up suddenly in the middle of the night, as if instructed to inspect a lump in my right breast—and a jolt hit me, this electric realization that I couldn’t ignore it. Exactly one month later, I had a bilateral mastectomy, followed by reconstruction. No cancer in my family, no BRCA gene. They pushed chemo, but I refused. My second oncologist was only okay with that if I agreed to have an oophorectomy and took Tamoxifen for five years—an estrogen blocker to choke out whatever estrogen lingered after they’d removed my ovaries.
I thought I bounced back after the surgeries. I was wrong. Major health issues crept in —fatigue, weakness, severe nerve issues that wrecked sleep, irritability, several diagnoses & recommended treatments that I felt would cause further harm more than healing, so I hit the pause button on any recommended treatments (and all symptoms have by now vanished). At first, I blamed the trauma of surgery, but now I know it was as much or more caused by the estrogen crash, the ovary removal which forced sudden menopause.
At this point it was 2021, I was 49, my daughters 21 & 6, I wasn’t planning to have more children. I had no idea of the role of ovaries outside aiding childbirth. My oncologist and surgeon, both women, brushed it off like it was nothing, agreed that if one wasn’t planning to have children, there was no need for the ole ovaries(!) Wrong. Years later, I found out how important ovaries are, their role is indeed tremendous in every aspect of health, long after menopause.
Enter my discovery of HRT, which can boost heart health, nerve and joint strength, energy—I was thrilled to try it, stunned no doctor had mentioned it. But every time I brought it up, doctors turned into brick walls. “Oh no, you can’t have HRT, you had breast cancer,” they’d say, with this blank, unstudied look. After the fourth one, I saw through it—they didn’t know what they were talking about. My gut screamed it.
Kept digging. Found a doctor who looked at my bloodwork and said, “Wow, you’re barely dragging yourself through each day with these levels—testosterone, estrogen, progesterone, even your thyroid, all tanked.” He added, “You need HRT and thyroid meds, but my board won’t let me prescribe it because of your cancer history. I know they’re wrong, though—here’s a doc in town who can help, no board holding her back.”
I researched—medical studies, oncology specialists, breast health experts. My research indicated no solid data showing hormones cause breast cancer or bring it back. A lot of this fear seems tied to one overhyped study from 2002 that’s warped medical training in most fields. I’m a busy mom & artist—and I’ll research thoroughly when it’s called for. Usually I stay in my lane, but when advocating for my or my children’s health, I’ll dive into any field just enough to feel confidently informed. (Wish my oncologists, surgeons, and doctors had the same drive for truth & nose for BS.) To understand and forgive this blatant ignorance in those that were supposed to know better, it helps to realize that many would perhaps not dive in with such vigor and need for this knowledge unless they were experiencing it themselves, even if it is supposed to be their area of expertise, even if I personally have so little tolerance for blind acceptance of narrow curricula.
SO!, I’ve slapped together some rough notes and links below from the research I did to navigate this & discuss with medical professionals—a shortcut for anyone in my shoes. It’s not pretty, edited or polished; I’m too busy living and painting. These past five years, my art, my family, my friendships—they’ve suffered, and I didn’t even see how much. I blamed only myself. Now I know it was the estrogen crash & forced menopause—fatigue, weakness, mood swings (plus some surgery trauma setting a pendulum swing that is finally righting itself to a range of normalcy & health). Since starting HRT, I’m me again. Energy’s back, inspiration’s flowing, and I’m itching to paint and catch up on lost time. I hope these links and thoughts help someone ask the right questions, find the right doctors, and skip treatments that are harmful. Too many medical professionals aren’t up to speed on this stuff. I questioned radiation and chemo—some might need it, sure—but I didn’t know to question ovary removal and Tamoxifen. If you can, keep your ovaries—they do so much, even past menopause! Read up on HRT. Wishing you strength on your journey.
At the bottom of this page are links from my research. They do not necessarily apply to my experience, but were gathered frantically in preparation to convince someone to prescribe me HRT. What’s working for me now: a testosterone/estrogen pellet inserted in my hip every few months, a daily dose of progesterone at night, and NP Thyroid 90 mg in the morning. And bloodwork every few months to monitor it all. That’s a lot for someone who never believed in taking a bunch of meds—not even Tylenol except under extreme circumstances. I always leaned instead toward nutrition, exercise, and homeopathy to stay well.
The paintings above are from the Oceans collection released in 2020. They were created months before my diagnosis of breast cancer. The originals have sold but there are prints available here! I find it eerily premonitory how this body of work illustrates the year that followed their creation. Art imitating life or the other way around? Here is what I wrote about the collection (before the diagnosis):
From a deep love of Oceans, I allowed the creation of each of these paintings to flow through me. I am mesmerized by the sumptuous natural color schemes of our Oceans and bold hues of the beaches along their edges. Each of these paintings contains the restoring, calming, strengthening and healing energy of our OCEANS.
Now, read it again, replacing the word "oceans" with "ovaries".
I find the painting below, painted March 21, 2019, to be uncannily premonitory too.
I am celebrating the 5-year mark since the breast cancer diagnosis with a new collection of oil paintings, Whispers from the Wild, an ode to primitive landscapes along 30 A Highway, Georgia pines, forest paths in north Florida, majestic Southern Live Oaks, the Gulf of Mexico's Forgotten Coast, and one fierce Brazilian jaguar "Seizing Her Prey" inspired by a photo captured by Ian Ford, 2024 wilderness photographer of the year.
Secrets of the Brush, inspired by Grayton Beach on Florida's infamous Highway 30A
Seizing Her Prey, inspired by a photo by Ian Ford, 2024 wilderness photographer of the year.
Below are the Rough Notes & Links gathered in order to be well-informed while seeking my own HRT. Finding this information was a HUGE game changer for me, a complete revelation, certainly wish I'd known earlier! I hope it can save you some time and hassle if you are in a similar situation. (Sorry, It’s a Mess):
• www.realhealthmd.com Dr. Jenn Simmons , integrative oncologist, breast surgeon, author, podcast host, and the founder of perfeQTion imaging
• Episode 200 in Heather Hirsch’s podcasts: “There isn’t a woman I wouldn’t give hormone therapy to” HRT IS a win-win..”
• https://heatherhirschacademy.com/course/managing-breast-cancer-in-menopause-with-confidence/ Heather Hirsch Academy is proud to offer this mini-course exclusively for healthcare professionals (DOs, MDs, PAs, NPs, and Pharmacists)
• https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38385734/
• “Our findings suggest that MHT (Menopause hormone therapy) could be a viable treatment alternative for breast cancer survivors experiencing menopausal symptoms, especially those with HR-negative tumors. Personalized management is recommended for each peri/postmenopausal woman facing a diminished quality of life because of menopause symptoms.”
• https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35594465/ “It is Time” article about 24/25 studies showing HRT safe post-BC
• HRT after breast cancer. It is time. Review article by. Averim Blooming. May June issue 2022. The cancer journal 1980-2013, 1994-2021 the summary of 25 studies. “What IS the data?” All but 1 show : reduced mortality, reduced recurrence, no recurrence, no difference women who were already on HRT and then got diagnosed with BC got way better prognosis and outcome. Vag. Layla Averill Layla divinely.
• From what I am hearing & reading, HRT is very beneficial for most women, INCLUDING women who have had breast cancer. https://youtu.be/6TJtBz2IkP4 Current articles, podcasts and videos show that HRT is not only OK for post-breast cancer women but also MORE EFFECTIVE at preventing the occurrence AND Recurrences of breast cancer. The estrogen is given WITH testosterone and for individuals who still have a uterus, a progesterone IUD is recommended as well. This also treats NUMEROUS symptoms known to be caused by the sudden drop of testosterone that occurs with menopause and especially with forced menopause such as an oophorectomy, including:
• Improve Brain health - prevention of Alzheimer’s
• Improve heart health - prevention of heart disease
• enhance self-image
• improve somatic symptoms, such as muscle aches and joint pain
• increase bone density
• enhance cognitive performance
• increase blood flow to the genitals
• improve mood, motivation, and energy
• “Unfortunately, some doctors and healthcare professionals still believe outdated reports that HRT is linked to cancer, blood clots and heart problems, so they may be reluctant to prescribe HRT. If there’s no medical reason why HRT is unsuitable for you, then it’s important to speak up and, if necessary, ask for a second opinion.”
• www.Themenopausecharity.org
• “Estrogen to a woman’s brain is like fuel to a car” (especially astrodome) https://youtu.be/Cgo2mD4Pc54
• https://youtube.com/shorts/DJxmNPA6Lgk?si=ac612C8SKlGC6wbE
• “Other symptoms of lower testosterone include dysphoric mood (anxiety, irritability, depression), lack of wellbeing, physical fatigue, bone loss, muscle loss, changes in cognition, memory loss, insomnia, hot flashes, joint pains and urinary complaints including incontinence”… “Testosterone is usually given as a cream or gel, which you rub into your skin like a moisturiser. It is then absorbed directly into your bloodstream.
• AndroFeme®1 cream is made for women. It is licensed in Australia but can be prescribed here and is a regulated preparation.
• Testogel, Testim and Tostran are gels that are made for men but can be prescribed off licence and safely used in lower doses for women”
• https://www.balance-menopause.com/menopause-library/importance-of-testosterone/
• 6/27 ovary removal comes at a cost to the brain’s white matter b/c of Lack of Testosterone (another great reason to have HRT with estrogen and testosterone https://www.sciencealert.com/losing-both-ovaries-could-come-at-a-serious-cost-to-the-brain-researchers-find
• Dr. Heather Hirsch says don’t use creams, the progesterone doesn’t get absorbed so it’s a waste of money. Instead use an iud (only for those taking estrogen that have a uterus -to protect it from cancer) estrogen is cardio protective! Bone loss & Osteoporosis are very much caused by lack of estrogen. According to this gyno, (who says she, like many medical doctors, were NEVER taught about hormones in med school) https://youtu.be/RHT2ju3VPwA this Dr. says her opinion is there is no reason to avoid estrogen unless u have ACTIVE breast cancer!!
• https://youtu.be/ZBQUTHen7Jo
• https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8025725/
• according to this research and this YouTube video testosterone works a lot better than tamoxifen! https://youtu.be/uBNE2KWBJRQ according to this there’s no research that actually proves estrogen causes breast cancer. And those side effects that toxin and menopause cause can be eliminated which testosterone along with production of the recurrence or occurrence of breast cancer!
• According to this article https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24028858/
• ‘Ultralow-Risk’ Breast Cancers Can Skip Endocrine Therapy
• 🔎 I know in my heart that my breast cancer is not coming back. Should I stop taking this tamoxifen? - Google Search
• Arimidex Still Better Than Tamoxifen After Surgery to Reduce Recurrence Risk
• https://youtu.be/EnwEVmKRidM